


I'll Make a Million Mistakes

by haloburns



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Crack Fic, Divorced Alexander and Eliza, F/M, Gen, based on Mrs. Doubtfire bc
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-13
Updated: 2016-07-13
Packaged: 2018-07-23 17:24:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7472937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haloburns/pseuds/haloburns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex loses custody of his kids and now has to earn it back. Unfortunately, Alex is a little unstable, mentally. Meaning when Eliza looks to hire someone to care for the kids, Alex dresses like an older woman to spend time with his kids.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll Make a Million Mistakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! This is my first crack fic, despite all the shit I write. I'm writing this with my lovely assistant Karli. (She's really more than an assistant, I just wanted to say that). This is based off the 1993 movie with Robin Williams called Mrs. Doubtfire. It's not necessary to watch it, but I recommend it because it's fucking hilarious

It happened after one late night at the office. He missed Angie’s birthday. Eliza was pissed and told him to get out.

“Alexander, you have been absent for far too long. I want you out of this house. I would rather the kids grow up without a father than be disappointed because he’s not there,” she choked out, unable to look at him.

“Betsey…”

“Don’t… I’ll bring the divorce papers tomorrow.” Unable to speak, Alexander nodded his head and left, fighting back tears as he left.

“Daddy?” Holly asked from the bottom step, her dark eyes wide.

“Holly, go back to sleep, baby. I’ll see you soon.” He kissed her head, walking out before he started sobbing. Seeing her standing in her little nightgown, innocently wondering why her daddy was leaving late at night, after having just gotten home, was too much for him. Alex tried hiding his sobs until he reached Hercules and Laf’s place. It was a failed plan. The man that arrived on their doorstep was a mess, more of a mess than usual.

“What’s up, Alex?” John asked as he answered the door.

“Eliza--Eliza kicked me out,” was all he was able to say before he started sobbing. His friends ushered him in, waiting for the pain to pass enough for him to tell the story.

“Well,” Laf said after Alex had finished. “Stay here until you get  back on your feet. We’ll help you find an apartment.”

“But you did fuck up, Hammy,” Herc added. John punched his arm, to which Herc responded with a shrug.

“Alright, alright, come on,” Laf said as they stood. “Let’s go get you some food because I _know_ you haven’t eaten in several hours.” Together, the four of them walked into the kitchen, light banter drifting through the heavy air.

 

* * *

 

Two weeks later, Alex sat next to his lawyer in a rumpled looking suit, Eliza on the other side looking perfect, as usual. In front of them, the judge was ruling a verdict.

“Although these custody proceedings tend to favour the mother, we also realize it is not in the child’s best interest to deprive them of their father. However, since, at the present time, Mr. Hamilton has no place to live, it is in the court’s ruling to award sole custody to Mrs. Hamilton.” Alex’s brain stalled, whirring in his attempt to understand.

“Your Honour, please. Every Saturday? That’s one day a week, that’s not enough. I have to be with my children. It’s not in question. I have to be with them, sir, please. I know it seems like a lot, but for me, it’s not enough. Really. I haven’t been away from them for more than one day since the day they were born,” he said, working to keep the desperation from his voice.

“Mr. Hamilton, the ruling is only temporary,” the judge responded, looking over to him with little sympathy. “I will assign a court liaison to oversee  your case. I’m giving you three months, Mr. Hamilton.” The judge looked over her glasses at him, signing papers as he nodded. “That’s three months in which you create a suitable home and take care of yourself. Stabilize. I don’t want to see these kids torn away from their family any more than you two do. If you manage that, I will consider a joint-custody arrangement when we reconvene.” The judge adjourned court, leaving Alex to talk with the lawyer.

After the talk, he felt no happier. He returned home to collect his stuff, sighing as the kids stood on the steps, watching him. Holly ran up to him as he closed to hatch to Herc’s car, grabbing onto his leg.

“You can’t go now…”

“Honey, I have to,” he said, leaning down to pick her up.

“We’re in the middle of Hamlet… Who’s gonna finish it?”

“Well, Grandpa will finish it for you,” he said, looking up at Philip Sr. standing in the doorway.

“But he’s not as good… He always skips parts and he _never_ does the voices,” Holly told him, leaning in to stage-whisper in his ear.

“Hey, I love you, bug.”

“I love you too, Daddy.”

“Look, Saturday will be here quickly, and it’ll be like I never left. Alright, bug?” Philip came over next, hugging Alex hard. Alex enveloped him into a tight hug, kissing his head.

“Take care of her, will you?” He asked, his voice thick. Philip only nodded. Next, he moved to Angie, who was trying to bravely hide her tears.

“You’re the boss, now, Ang. Just be nice to your brother.” She nodded, looking away until Alex leaned in to hug her. It wasn’t long before Philip Sr. was shooing him off, reminding him that they’ll see him on Saturday.

“Thanks, warden,” he muttered as he climbed into the seat, leaving his kids waving at the tail end of the car.

“Saturday will be here soon...Saturday will be here soon…” Alex muttered to himself as he drove back to Herc and Laf’s. It didn’t dawn on him that it was _only_ Tuesday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me how you feel about it here or @writingatnight--runningouttime.tumblr.com!


End file.
